How I deal with infertility

I wrote this on Monday night of this week.


I think that there can't be many things more painful for a woman then infertility.
I was thinking and praying about how hard it is for my wife to so desire to have another baby but be powerless to change the circumstances.


In the book of Genesis, the first book of the Bible, after God has made Adam and Eve he says be fruitful and multiply it's a directive from our creator to have children I think that it's part of how we are made in His image to have children who are made in our image. 
My point is that having children is in the fabric of our created nature.
I think it is why it's so hard when for whatever reason we find ourselves unable to.


As I was praying for my wife tonight about this very thing, the Holy Spirit gave me a new way to look at this circumstance. Nicole and I feel very strongly that we need to adopt we felt it before we were married and it's a passion that has never gone away. Much like being pregnant is the time for preparing for the new arrival so this time that Nicole and I have as we work toward adopting is a time of preparing.


When Olivia our first-born daughter was growing in Nicole there was time to talk to and pray for this life that was coming into our lives and family.  The Holy Spirit showed me that we need to be pregnant with the life that is going to be coming into our family in the form of an adopted child. Right now, my son or daughter is maybe wondering if he or she will soon be coming into our family. Wondering if their mommy and daddy will soon rejoice over their entry into their world.

One of my favourite lyrics is from Hillsong United  the track name is "Hosanna"

"break my heart for what breaks yours everything I am for your kingdoms cause as I walk from earth into eternity"

I want my heart to break because there are children tonight that are hoping that a mom and dad are hoping for them.

For me making the step from living in an earth bound mentality to an eternal kingdom building mentality is realizing that children are going to sleep tonight without hope and doing something to change that reality for them.
If I am to be fully me, I must keep my future children in the forefront of my mind and intentions.

These are some late night thoughts Lord use them as you will.

Statistics on the Orphan Crisis

Stats
When we look at the great social issues of this century – poverty, hunger, HIV/AIDS, child soldiers, and trafficking – there is a common link, the orphan. By stepping in to prevent, delay and rescue orphaned children, we can break these cycles and change more than just the number of orphans.

What is the need?
143 million children have lost one or both parents.1
Every 18 seconds another child becomes an orphan, without a mother or father.2
At least 16.2 million children worldwide have lost both parents.3
Every 14 seconds a child loses a parent due to AIDS.4
Conflict has orphaned or separated 1 million children from their families in the 1990s.5

Where are they?
43.4 million orphans live in sub-Saharan Africa, 87.6 million orphans live in Asia, and 12.4 million orphans live in Latin America and the Caribbean.6
1.5 million children live in public care in Central and Eastern Europe alone.7
At any given point there are over 30,000 children in the Canadian Foster Care system.1
In some countries, children are abandoned at alarming rates, due to poverty, restrictive population control policies, disabilities or perceived disabilities, and cultural traditions that value boys more than girls.9

What about AIDS?
More than 14 million children under the age of 15 have lost one or both parents to AIDS, the vast majority of them in sub-Saharan Africa.10
By 2010, the number of children orphaned by AIDS globally is expected to exceed 25 million.11
AIDS is more likely than other cause of death to result in children losing both parents.12
As the infection spreads, the number of children who have lost parents to AIDS is beginning to grow in other regions as well, including Asia, Latin America and the Caribbean and Eastern Europe.13

What happens to the children?
Children are profoundly affected as their parents fall sick and die, setting them on a long trail of painful experiences often characterized by: economic hardship, lack of love, attention and affection, withdrawal from school, psychological distress, loss of inheritance, increased physical and sexual abuse and risk of HIV infection, malnutrition and illness, stigma, discrimination, exploitation, trafficking, and isolation.14
Orphaned children are much more likely than non-orphans to be working in commercial agriculture, as street vendors, in domestic service and in the sex trade.15
Unaccompanied boys are at high risk of forced or ‘voluntary’ participation in violence and armed conflict.16
Orphanages, children’s villages, or other group residential facilities generally fail to meet young people’s emotional and psychological needs.17

What about foster care?
On average, children stay in foster care for 30 months, or 2.5 years.18
30,000 children are waiting to be adopted in Canada.1
Of those who aged out of foster care:22
    54% earned a high school diploma.
    2% obtained a Bachelor’s degree or higher.
    51% were unemployed.
    25% had been homeless.
    30% were receiving public assistance.

Sources
1 Focus on the Family Canada. http://www.focusonthefamily.ca/
2 Based on the numbers found in Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS, United Nations Children’s Fund and the United States Agency for International Development, Children on the Brink 2004: A joint report of new orphan estimates and a framework for action , Population, Health and Nutrition Information Project for USAID, Washington, D.C., July 2004. http://www.unicef.org/publications/index_22212.html .
3 Ibid, Children on the Brink 2004, p. 29.
4 UNICEF, Press Release: As G8 leaders discuss global poverty, UNICEF puts spotlight on children in poor countries. http://www.unicef.org/media/media_21421.html
5 UNICEF, Aug 2006. From website, “Child Protection from Violence, Exploitation and Abuse.” http://www.unicef.org/protection/index_orphans.html
6 Ibid, Children on the Brink 2004, p. 3
7 UNICEF, Aug 2006. From website, “Child Protection from Violence, Exploitation and Abuse.” http://www.unicef.org/protection/index_orphans.html
9 Human Rights Watch. Easy Targets: Violence against Children Worldwide . New York: Human Rights Watch. 2001, pp. 25-26. http://www.hrw.org/reports/2001/children/
10 Global Partners Forum convened by UNICEF with support from UNAIDS. The Framework for the Protection, Care and Support of Orphans and Vulnerable Children Living in a World with HIV and AIDS , July 2004, p 5. Global Strategic Framework: http://www.ovcsupport.net
11 Global Partners Forum convened by UNICEF with support from UNAIDS. The Framework for the Protection, Care and Support of Orphans and Vulnerable Children Living in a World with HIV and AIDS , July 2004, p 5. Global Strategic Framework: http://www.ovcsupport.net
12 Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS, United Nations Children’s Fund and the United States Agency for International Development, Children on the Brink 2004: A joint report of new orphan estimates and a framework for action , Population, Health and Nutrition Information Project for USAID, Washington, D.C., July 2004, p. 11. http://www.unicef.org/publications/index_22212.html
13 Global Partners Forum convened by UNICEF with support from UNAIDS. The Framework for the Protection, Care and Support of Orphans and Vulnerable Children Living in a World with HIV and AIDS , July 2004, p 7. Global Strategic Framework: http://www.ovcsupport.net
14 Global Partners Forum convened by UNICEF with support from UNAIDS. The Framework for the Protection, Care and Support of Orphans and Vulnerable Children Living in a World with HIV and AIDS , July 2004, p 9. Global Strategic Framework: http://www.ovcsupport.net
15 United Nations Children’s Fund, The State of the World’s Children 2006 . Dec 2005, p. 50. http://www.unicef.org/publications/index_30398.html
16 Ibid, UNICEF, Aug 2006. From website, “Child Protection from Violence, Exploitation and Abuse.”
17 Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS, United Nations Children’s Fund and the United States Agency for International Development, Children on the Brink 2004: A joint report of new orphan estimates and a framework for action , Population, Health and Nutrition Information Project for USAID, Washington, D.C., July 2004, p. 20. http://www.unicef.org/publications/index_22212.html .
18 Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and reporting System (AFCARS) #11 data submitted for the FY 2004, 0/1/03 through 9/30/04. http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/stats_research/afcars/ tar/report11.htm
22 Young adults ages 18-24 years old 2.5 to 4 years after leaving foster care: Cook, R. (1992). Are we helping foster care youth prepare for the future? Children and Youth Services Review. 16(3/4), 213-229. Cook, R.; Fleishman, E., & Grimes, V. (1989). A National Evaluation of Title IV-E Foster Care Independent Living Programs for Youth (Phase 2 Final Report, Volume 1). Rockville: Westat, Inc.

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Community happenings

This Sunday, hear from the founders of an orphanage in Lesotho (Southern tip of Africa) at a fundraiser in Cloverdale. ow.ly/6bIBq

Getting Started

On April 8th Nicole and I had the opportunity to attend an Adoption Seminar put on by Focus on the Family.

We were able to connect with a couple who have spent over a year researching and preparing for launching an Orphan Ministry in their church in Langley.
The name of their ministry is Above and Beyond.
We attended a desert night at CLA on May the 13th put on by Kristjan and Tamara Hull of Above and Beyond and were able to get a really good picture of how the lives of Orphans can be changed by being adopted into a christian home.
That night we heard from a mother, who with her husband, adopted two boys from Haiti in '95 and from the older of the two brothers.

Last week we met with Kristjan and Tamara and got some more info on what they are doing at South Gate and learning how we can start something in Sunshine Hills.
Tonight we met with their team and were able to be apart of the discussion about how they intend to launch into their church.

This feeling that we wanted to do something about Orphans and adoption preceded our going to the adoption seminar but we now have a clear goal and we know that we are not alone, that this is a call that God has put out to the nation of Canada.
Nicole and I are truly excited to be apart of what God is doing in Canada to bring an end to the Orphan crisis.